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WELCOME Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. What the heart gives away its never gone but kept in the hearts of the others. To truly love another means to let go of all expectations and having full acceptance. In melody divine, my heart beats to rapturous love to call you mine ღ Profile Viewing ♥
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updates, reflection.
May 12, 2008 @ 10:22 AM
Okay, today I am having Cognitive Processes, today's facilitator is quite a nice guy and he is so different from the female facilitator. Today I am still in the standby mode and also not in the condition to study. My mind is blank and the facilitator suddenly ask me question and I stunned there for a few seconds then answer him. Okay, he is not feeling happy today, I do not what really happened between he and his mum but he seems to be so quiet and guilty. Hey, stay strong, life is always like that and it is normal to have quarrels between family, especially the one closest to you. You have always encouraged me whenever I need and that have taught me a lot of things so you too also must hang in there. Okay, yesterday I went to the GOLBAL DAY OF PRAYERS in Indoor Stadium and it started at 3:30pm and it ended at 5:30pm sharp. OMG, they are so punctual and a pastor in my church fell when we were on the way to the place. Hope that she is alright :) Yesterday was Mothers' Day, drawn a card for her and I really want to thanks her for everything, her time, effort and the all the things she have done for me. The tears she have shed for me and the love she have gave me, I really want to thank her. Mummy thanks for everything. The next thing, should I ontinue I am afraid that I will cry when typing about it and for now I am already going to cry. I am going to miss my piano. I don't want to leave my piano, it means alot to me and it has been with me since I was Pri 5 and now I have to sell it away. I cannot bear to let it go, the time I have spent with it is actually more than the time spent with my father. Everytime whenever I am sad, it is always there with me and accompany me till I am okay, every touch I can still feel it and remember the feeling so vivdly. How am I suppose to let it leave me. I have taken it as a part of my life, a part of me, the music played from it, the sensation everytime I interact with it. By thinking if that my heart aches and skips a beat, no other piano is able to take the place it is in my heart. I really hope that everything is able to go fine and will be better than now and the past. I have learnt how to stay strong and how to be independent but I have yet to learn how to let off the things that is part of me and to really let things just come and go to and off my life. Its really tough for me, too tough and too much for me to learn. This period of time I am really in a mess, everything, my life, my relations and my mind, though friends are there but I really cannot take the very first step to accept the things that are happening to me. I can understand and is able to realise but it is that I am unable to accpet, believe and take hold of everything. Everyday, I will be asking myself, why are these things happening to me and not the other, this doesn't mean hat I am saying others are not facing any problems but ehy must it be me that is going through so many things and much more than the others who are facing problems. I always question myself, what's the thing that God wants me to learn or whats the thing that God wants to teach me. Why is it that God has chosen me to learn and take these things. I still remember that I once said, there is always a reason behind everything that is happening, and behind everything pain there will be hope and thanksgiving. Everytime, yet to be as optimistic as what I have said, we yet to find ourself contradicting to what we always remind ouself and we are unable to face the problems and settle it in a good and jovial manner. I think I am really growing up through the things I am going through now, you may think that I am joking or what but all want to say is that people might not see the change but I can understand the changes within me :) Thanks for your time :) Btw, I am hungry now !! Labels: learn to let off |