Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. What the heart gives away its never gone but kept in the hearts of the others. To truly love another means to let go of all expectations and having full acceptance. In melody divine, my heart beats to rapturous love to call you mine ღ

When two hearts meet, love is created

Hi, Raynz'C Xavennz is my name, I started breathing on 7 Oct. Very proud to be the unique one, I've a attitude that not many can handle. Very kind and friendly to those who are, emotional and loves to imagine. Traveling and music is the boost of my life.
Happily attached to Jay on 14/01/12

There are many things in life are beyond our control, things will go bad but believing and trust is the main source that will keep us going even at the darkest times. Everyone have their own problems to deal with and we can't possibly sit there and groan that things aren't going the way we want it to be. Everything happens for a reason and there's always another way out other than the one that is right in front of our eyes. I believe that when one has a will, there will be a way to resolve or change things :)

http://deniable-truth.blogspot.com

Truthfully speaking, knowing that what is coming tomorrow I've been struggling and indeed because of me trying to run away from the fact may sometimes lead to something even more difficult to face compared to facing it earlier. I've been denying and reluctant to face what I was supposed to and what I suspected coming for the past few months but what it resulted was a tougher decision to make and a stronger will to overcome. Getting to know the news, I'm forced to face the problem and think of a way to solve it, at that very moment I was lost. Feeling so hopeless, helpless and my mind went totally blank when the actually fact is that the news was what I have been suspecting for the past months. Ironic isn't it? It's when you knew that the answer was highly to be it but trying to run away from it till the day that you finally cannot outrun it and is forced to face the answer. It's very tough, really. After that day, I have been struggling, many thoughts came by into my mind and everything is all messed up.

I didn't know what to do, I found myself at a point that I couldn't even breakdown. I was afraid and didn't know where to start from to solve the problem. As I brought the news to Joel, I could see him trying very hard not to mind about it and putting up a front that he's alright. The news really struck me hard, extremely hard - it's so hard that even he can't take it. From that point, I knew I couldn't fall, I have to start to pick myself up immediately no matter how difficult it was. Joel's innocent and has nothing to do with it but he is being dragged in, so no matter how scared, stress, helpless I'm I know I couldn't show it all because that will just affect the people around me and especially him even more. I made up my mind to solve this all alone, no matter how much I need a shoulder to cry on - I told myself that I can't, at the very least not in front of him.

This is also when you get to know how realistic people can be and you can definitely look at them clearly who are really the ones that will stand by you through the toughest times of your life - these are the people that is really worth your effort to treasure the friendship. Definitely I'm off with this stage already, it showed me so clearly who are the ones who actually will make the effort to be concerned about me and be there to walk with me. Even those who really claimed with their names and hearts, they might not be true. I believe that many of you have been through this but there are more, those who backed out when small help is needed at least you know that you didn't really relied and put in effort in treasuring them but for those that didn't, it doesn't mean that they won't. There's 3 kinds of people falling in this category.

One, those who will stay by you no matter you are going through ups or downs and they do not ask for repay. This are the friends that you surely want to treasure them dearly and never disappoint them ever again if you did and for me I did and through this incident I know that I've been too much in doing so too many times, my apologies. Secondly, there're friends that will be there for you in small problems because they want to get something from you, whatever they want to get, anything but when it comes to big problems they will just give excuses and back out. I'm not saying that they do not have the rights to do so but to say that they are realistic extremist. They know that they can't gain anything in helping so why waste their effort to help right but they will not reject you straight in the face because they know that there will be a day they'd need help from either you or me. I admit that I'm stupid enough to put in effort in helping them whenever they asked but now they have really thought me well. So be smarter.

The very last kind of friends that didn't back out in helping you out in small matters, definitely they will show concern to you asking if you're fine and what not but they already have the intentions of not going to help you out if you'd ask. Yes, I also do have friends like this but at the very least they are true in a way that they show me clearly that we humans are realistic animals and that I wouldn't even need to waste the effort to ask them for help. So making friends is really important I should say and its not an easy thing to do because it takes time to tell one's self true colours.

I'm really restless frankly speaking regarding tomorrow's news. I couldn't share with him how much I needed his attention, support and shoulder to lean on but actually to put on a strong front in front of him pretending that everything's gonna be fine. Yes, ultimately it will be but at this current moment and the past few days I seriously sturggled through, I cannot afford to lose him so knowing that he actually mind alot, all I can do is to force myself to be even more understanding than before and think in his shoes. Definitely I do hope that he'll do the same but since he couldn't, I can't force him to either. Nevertheless, I'm still glad that I do have friends that are so true hearted to me. I'll hope you guys have these kind of friends too and do remember, though they might not treat you the way you treated them but always be true because sometimes it really do takes two hands to clap. Hopefully, tomorrow I really can take the news to come, but no matter how it will go I will not complain or question because this is what we call life! Looking at it, I should be thankful because not many people can take the blow of being a failure once but never a second time.